New Weezer hurl-inducing

In 1994, Weezer was effortlessly able to put something other than grunge in the ears of the nation by convincing the mainstream to embrace its brand of nerd-rock.

 Since the Blue Album, we've anxiously watched the band's every move, waiting for it to conjure its former simplistic glory only to be fooled by two more self-titled knock offs, used by three more poignant efforts and abused by the band's own egotism.

 Hurley is the most recent atrocity by a band that, somewhere along its path, stopped understanding the difference between satire and self-satire.

 However, unlike many who have been in the limelight as long as Weezer, its latest installment does represent progress. The band has progressed from doing most things wrong to doing everything wrong.

 As Hurley begins, it sounds like something qualifiedly listenable. The opening tracks recycle the same formula as the band's more acceptable post-Blue singles, like the lovechildren of Hash Pipe and Keep Fishin'.

But this, along with the very few other digestible tracks on the album, will cause purging upon examining the unrelenting stupidity of the lyrics - i.e., Memories and Where's My Sex?

 When the band isn't ruining its scarce attempts to sound like itself, it's making laughable 3-minute ditties to fill out the rest of a record that never should've been released.

 When was it that we began to settle for such mediocrity?

 As easy as it would be to blame ourselves, quit the investigation before it begins and chock it up to a simple, self-deprecating condemnation - this time we may just be spared. It is not we who need feel the guilt for this trend of accepting the unexceptional. This dispirited tide needs to be accredited to the real perpetrators - the mainstream critics.

 We fantasized about Weezer someday returning to the L.A. nerds who we fell in love with, but for some reason the ones who really couldn't let go were the media. The fact that the band continually tortured the media and the public was constantly hidden by erroneous rhetoric. Within the critical pool, this adulation has led to a nepotism in which writers accepted what Weezer fed them, and it's setting a hazardous precedent that says the public will accept a mediocrity it never asked for.

- Andy Collier is a senior studying audio production. If you have questions about the media's perpetrating mediocrity, e-mail Andy at


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